Ectopic Pregnancy

My blood results Monday again were low but they were higher then Friday. In my mind this is good news, they are not going down. I have an ultrasound on Tuesday to check up  from my ER visit and to confirm why my HCG levels are so low for 6 weeks pregancy.

I go to my Tuesday appt w/ the intended parents. We are all set up for the ultrasound. The Dr comes in, sits down and starts our appt by saying, based off the HCG levels this is an abnormal pregnancy. Of course I had no idea what to expect. He also says based off my previous ultrasounds in November and earlier in January there were no follicles on either ovary for a cyst to grow, there's no way I had cysts. He says we will also find out why I was in pain from this ultrasound. All I am thinking is WTF????

The Dr starts the ultrasound by looking at the uterus. There is no pregnancy sac. . .

The Dr looks at my right ovary. My right ovary is surrounded in fluid. Not good.

Wait, there has to be a pregnancy sac, if there was no sac then I wouldn't have an HCG level.

And there it is hanging out in my left fallopian. So the Dr tells me the pain that put me in the hospital was my body trying to get the embryo out of my fallopian tube.

Next I schedule an appt w/ my OB to decide what needs to be done. Per the fertility Dr, If my body was successful at moving the embryo out of the tube then I may need a DNC. If my body was able to get it to the end of the tube then they may be able to vacuum it out. If it is still in the tube then they will have to remove the tube.

Thursday comes. Per my Dr the embryo is too far up the tube for options one and two. To my relief he does provide me w/ another option. He says they can give me a low dose of chemo. This is not a 100% guarantee. But 75% of the time it breaks down the embryo tissues which my body would reabsorb and then get rid of once I have a menstrual cycle. Of course I choose this option over having surgery and losing one of my fallopian tubes.

Friday comes and my body is agitated all day. I have a little pain and a lot of nausea. By 10:30 I am back in horrific pain. I called my daughter's father to please come over and be w/ Bella. He of course is instantly on his way. I called my friend Britney who agrees to take me to the Er once Chris gets here. I am in pain and throwing up and scared. Chris gets here and Britney and I leave for the hospital.

Luckily they are not crazy busy. There is no one in the waiting room and I get seen very quickly. They do an ultrasound and the chemo is currently not breaking anything up. It's only been a little over 24 hrs so the Dr was not expecting the embryo to be broken up yet but was expecting some of the fluid around my ovaries to have been broken up. But everything is as it was before and the Dr decides to do surgery. So an hour later my fallopian tube is being removed. I was released from the hospital today and am doing pretty well. Emotionally I am a little jaded.

The good news is it was only one tube so I can still have more kids. It is still very emotional, not only because  I had to have surgery, but because I lost a part of me. I lost part of my reproduction system. Most of today I have been emotionally ok. And the rest of the day it doesn't make sense. W/ IVF there is only a 1% chance of ectopic pregnancy. I am that 1% chance. I am now w/ out one tube and the family I was trying to help is still w/ out a child. How is that fair? I know things in life happen for a reason, but why??

I do wanna thank you all for your support and reading my story. Thank you for your kind words and prayers.

Need your prayers

Again sorry it's been so long. Computer still down :(

A lot has happened. . .

Since the transfer on 1/9, I had lab work scheduled Wed 1/19 and Friday 1/21 to check my HCG levels. HCG is the hormone your body produces when pregnant. on Wed we were looking for anything over 5 to register pregnancy and Friday the number should have been close to double Wed number.

Well Tuesday 1/18, I just couldn't take it anymore!!! So I cheated!!! I know I am such a cheater, I bought a home pregnancy test. How lame am I the day before the blood test I cheat! Anyway the home test came out POSITIVE!!!! Such an exciting feeling!

Wed 1/19 I went for my first blood test which came back nice and strong at 84. Friday 1/21 the result came back at 172. So everything is going as planned!!! My next blood test at this point will the following Friday and every Friday for the next month just to monitor my levels.

Saturday1/22 in the later afternoon, I started getting cramps and pain in my left hip area. I tried to just get through it but couldn't. My neighbor took me to the emergency room Saturday night about 10:30. The pain was horrific! I couldn't stop moving, I couldn't be still.

The Er Dr did ultrasounds. Which by the way was one of the craziest experiences ever. they did both a vaginal and belly ultra sound. at this point the embryo are only 4 weeks old so we couldn't see them but they wanted to check everything out. For my belly ultrasound they filled my blatter via a cafiter. I mean FILLED!! Like it hurt to hold it filled and the ultrasound tech is pressing on my belly!!! She said as long as I don't push the liquid will not come out. But if I push it will gush out and not through the cafiter like out around the cafiter. So duh! I didn't push!! When she was done she started removing the liquid and told me I could relax, I didn't need to hold it anymore. As soon as I relaxed the liquid started gushing out!!!!! So I am cracking up laughing and holding it once again. It hurts! and I can't stop laughing. She says it's half gone and to relax, I relax, and it starts gushing!!! So again I am in hysteria and holding it. Now she says it's empty, so I relax and it is GUSHING once again. This time I said screw it and let it gush till it was really empty.

In the ultrasound they found liquid at my left fallopian tube. The OBGYN on call says  it could be one of three things. 1. Fluid left from an erupted cyst 2. blood from an erupted cyst 3. a tubal pregnancy.

Now how is a tubal pregnancy possible with IVF? Well, the embryo are released into the uterus to find their own place to implant. It is very rare but sometimes they just travel up the fallopian tube and then implant.

At this point because the embryo are so young they can not confirm a tubal pregnancy. The Dr admits me for observation. If my pain does not decrease then they will scope to either determine tubal or not. I am freaking out. As well as exhausted because now it is about 4:30 in the morning. So not only have I not slept, but just in case they need to scope, I am not not allowed to eat.

The Dr finally returns Sunday night about 8 and says I will be released Monday morning and now I can eat. The cafeteria is closed!!!! I am starving and the cafeteria is closed!!!! I am very lucky, My good friends bring my In N Out. That's right! Just what the starved tummy needs! talk about the meal ever!!!

So good news, not tubal. Bad news, I have one more cyst. The cyst feeds off hormones, so I am literally feeding it and waiting for it to erupt.

Good morning Wed! Good morning other cyst erupting!!!! Really!!!! I have only been to work one day this week and your going to erupt? I go to work anyway knowing that I will need to leave early once the pain peaks. But I go in because there are things I NEED to get done. I get them done and in tears leave for the day. Call my daughters father and ask him to pick her up and I go home to ride through the pain. Again I am completely out for two days.

Ok Friday! It's over, No more cysts, going for lab work, then going to work.

My HCG levels are low :( This could mean one of two things. 1. both embryo attached and my body is miscarrying one of them. 2. one embryo attached and my body is miscarrying it.

So not good. The Er OBGYN said the cysts erupting can not cause harm to the embryo, but if I am in such horrific pain, how are the embryo not effected? Yes he is a Dr and he knows more then I do as this is his field of expertise. But I find myself to be a pretty logical person. I do not see the logic in this.

And again my friends, I am asking for your prayers, your positive energy and your good thoughts. I go back in for more lab work tomorrow morning to confirm what's going on. I am praying that this family gets at least one healthy baby.

Amazing!!!

Transfer today went great! The embryo's thawed perfectly and were very strong. The Dr gave them a higher percentage of taking then he originally did after seeing them today. Keep your fingers crossed, your good thoughts, positive energy and prayers coming!!!

This was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen. I know I said before how amazing I think this process is. But today was very surreal! Via ultrasound we were able to watch the entire process. It started like a pap w/ the whole speculum thing. Then the Dr rinsed my cervix w/ saline, then rinsed my cervix w/ the liquid the embryos were thawed in, then they used a cafiter and inserted the embryo. This is like the closest thing to immaculate conception!

I got to take home pics of the embryo and pics of the ultrasound. AMAZING!

Transfer Tomorrow

I know I have not been keeping up. . . My computer is dead. Yes dead :(

So since I last blogged, I have started a blood thinner that i inject into my abdomen twice a day. It'd not horrible, it does burn a bit and since it is a blood thinner, I am bruising like crazy on my tummy!!! I have also started a progesterone injection every evening in my hinney/back area and I have an appt every evening w/ a neighbor to help me out. That ones not to bad either. The needle is thinner then the needle for the estrogen which I still take twice a week. So injections are good. I'll post pics of my bruised belly once my computer is back up and running :)

But the biggest news is tomorrow is our embryo transfer. I am so excited and nervous at the same time. Each embryo only has a 35% chance if becoming a baby. I am so nervous that it won't take and we will be starting the process all over again. I can do the injections and the blood tests. They are nothing. But I don't want the parents to have to go through it again. This is their time. It's their turn to have their baby. I want their fight to end.

Please Please Please keep them in your prayers and thoughts tomorrow and until the 21st when we find out if the transfer worked.

Transfer date is coming . . .

Went into the fertility clinic today for an ultrasound to make sure my uterus lining is ready to go. It is ready at 9.4 centimeters. 6 is the minimum and 9 or over is optimum!!! Good to go!!! I start my heparin, which is a blood thinner shot i will injected in my abdomen twice day, this evening, I start progesterone which I will take every evening in my back, and I take my last lupron tomorrow. All getting me ready for the embryo transfer on Sunday. This is an exciting week!!! I will have a pregnancy test 10 and twelve days after the transfer. SO for now my friends, please please send your thoughts and prayers towards my intended parents!!! Let's hope the transfer works and their fight for a family ends!!!

Thanks Neighbor!!!

I take an estrogen injection twice a week. If you read my last update, then you heard that I just started. Today is my second dose of estrogen and thanks to my neighbor it was a success! What would I do w/ out the fabulous support from my friends and family. My daughters father was very helpful on Friday and today my neighbor was waiting for my call to tell him I was ready! Being able to be a surrogate means so much to me and w/ out the help I receive from those close to me, I don't know if I would be able to do. Thank you!!!

More injections and fun to start next week and our embryo transfer is in a week and a half. Please keep my intended parents in your thoughts and prayers. They have been fighting and have stayed strong for so long! It's their time! Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers!!!

Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas Eve!!! Tonight I had my daughters dad and his dad over for Christmas Eve dinner. Dinner was yummy, company was lovely. In the back of my head I can't stop thinking about my estrogen shot. Seriously folks. This needle is scary and I need to put it in my back. I have sharpie marker circle on either side of back/hinney. Now the first shot I started, Lupron, Is like a baby injection. The needle is the length of my thumb nail. Yet the first time I did that injection it took me 30 min to 45 min to pep talk myself in to getting it done. So I decided I am going to do this one by myself as well. Luckily my daughters dad was here and willing to assist, cause the me doing it by myself thing was a really bad idea!!! So I sat in the front room all prepped and ready to go. He is wrapping presents and I am leaning over the ottoman trying to convince myself to give myself the injection. He must have been irritated but whatever my pep talk worked for him!!! So I walked him through it and in the end I invited him to come back over on Tuesday when I need another estrogen injection :) Until then I will continue my Lupron on my own as well as my antibiotic for breakfast, my calcium for a snack 2 hours later, my prenatal for lunch, calcium for dinner, and dex, aspirin, folgard and antibiotic for bed time. Merry Christmas!!!

Next step, blood tests on the 30th and ultrasound on the 3rd. Transfer only 2 weeks away!!!